Bernie Siegel's Soul Prescriptions

Five ways to live a happier life.
By Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

From "365 Prescriptions for the Soul." Used with permission of New World Library

Prescription #1: Gratitude
A gentleman I was talking to on the phone related that his doctor and the EMR team had told him his heart stopped beating and he had died at least five times during surgery. He concluded our conversation by saying, “I used to have troubles, but now I have only blessings.” His outlook clearly had been turned around by this experience.

I meditate each day, and one portion of the meditation consists of my thinking about what I am grateful for. Most of us never stop to consider our blessings; rather, we spend the day only thinking about our problems. But since you have to be alive to have problems, be grateful for the opportunity to have them. Some people use their problems to get attention and are afraid to give them up and be blessed. I prefer to appreciate life and accept my problems as a part of my life.


When my body gets to the point where I can no longer function or feel gratitude, then I’ll leave it and become grateful again. But until then, I will appreciate what I have and not whine about what I don’t have. I will feel blessed by life and the opportunity to help others see that they are blessed too. Blessings come in many shapes and sizes. Be prepared, as my gentleman caller was.



Prescription #2: Hope
Hope restores us. What each of us hopes for will differ and change with time. I believe we need hope to go on living. Hope inspires us to reach for the future. It gives us something to look forward to and strive for on our path.



If we had no hope—for a cure, for winning the lottery, for falling in love, for the end of war, for being free of abuse, or for having food, warmth, clothing, and shelter—we would have no reason to go on. What you hope for doesn’t matter, but rather the essence of hope itself.



I see people who die a few minutes after a doctor tells them there is no hope of a cure. They give up and go. Others get angry and find joy in proving the doctor wrong. Something within them is challenged and hopeful. Hope is the divine motivator.



Prescription #3: Guidance
One day Marilyn, one of our support group members, sent me an email with the subject line “guidance.” In her email, she told me that the word “dance” being a part of the word guidance made her think about how dancing is like doing God’s will. Two people dancing are not struggling with each other; one leads and the other willingly follows. When the two become a team, their movements flow in harmony with each other. When she looked back at the word she saw the G as representing God and then U and I. So guidance is about God, you, and I dancing together.



When you are willing to trust and believe, guidance comes. I believe the rhythm we should all be dancing to comes from our Creator. It allows us to move as a team while creating our unique dance of life.



Prescription #4: New Year’s Resolutions
It is not a bad thing to make a New Year’s resolution, but you can also continuously set yourself up to fail. Be realistic and forgiving. The best resolution is to accept your limitations and start from there. Resolve not to give up on yourself, and to love yourself, even when you don’t like your behavior. So resolve to practice doing what you have resolved, rather than achieving sainthood tomorrow.



As you write down your resolutions, remember these things: Be kind; do not set yourself up for failure by creating multiple resolutions that involve too much self-denial. Keep your goals manageable and realistic. The best resolutions leave one day of the week to enjoy being human and not living by any rules or expectations you have created.



Prescription #5: Every Day Is New Year's
A “new year” — I think the term is an oxymoron. How can you have a new year? You are the same person, and the world doesn’t start again with a clean slate. Your troubles don’t disappear. People don’t forgive you for what you did the year before. Unless you have amnesia, your life is anything but new when you awaken on the first day of the year. It is simply a way of measuring the passage of time. Why make such a fuss over it?



The truth lies in our desire to be reborn, to start again, to make resolutions and changes we can live up to. Then why wait for a certain date to start a new year? Why can’t tomorrow be New Year’s Day? Maybe it is!



I see it every day in my role as a physician: People learn they have a limited time to live, and they start their New Year behavior. They move, change jobs, spend more time with those they love, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of them, and start to celebrate their life. They are grateful for the time they have to enjoy life and they stop whining about what they wish had happened during the past year.



When every evening is New Year’s Eve and every day you awaken is New Year’s Day, you are living life as it was intended.

 
[Some people] have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.

-A.H. Maslow

 
 
 

 

The Snowman

A snowy day and a curious child yield an unforgettable lesson about healing the world.
By Bob Perks

It just came up in a casual conversation. It was one of those times when a young child asks a simple question expecting a very complex answer, but then, much to the delight of the child, hears a simple one.
 
It didn't carry the weight of  "Where do babies come from?" It didn't require a dissertation on religion in the 21st century. It did, however, need to satisfy this child's curiosity.
 
It was late on a snowy Saturday afternoon. The young boy and his father were cleaning up the remaining leaves and branches that had fallen during the windy approach of the snowstorm. They stopped for a moment and sat quietly watching the snow fall.
 
Both were bundled up from head to toe. Mom insisted, "I’m the one who will have to take care of you if you catch a cold."
 
So they complied, adding a scarf and hat as they walked out the door.
 
"Dad, my friend told me that every snowflake is different," the child said.
 
"I believe that's true," his dad replied.
 
There was silence.
 
"How do we know that?" the child asked.
 
Dad, now smiling, turned toward his son and said, "We just do."
 
"But they look all the same to me," the child added.
 
Now dad felt obligated to come up with a more satisfying answer. One so profound that his son would remember this moment for years to come.
 
"Son, snowflakes are like people. God makes everyone of us different. We are each unique in a very special way. How do we know that? We just do." Not a good answer at all, he realized.  It falls into that category of  "Because I said so."
 
“We can test it right now," he added.
 
The child stood up, put out his hand, and watched as snowflakes landed on his glove.
 
"They are different," the boy said.  "Like people."
 
Then came the big question. "When they are all together, they are so beautiful," he said. "Then why don't they get along?"
 
"The snowflakes?" Dad asked.
 
"No, people, Dad. Why don't people get along?  If people are like snowflakes, and each one is unique and special like you said, why don't they get along?"
 
Wow, that's a good question.  One deserving a good answer.
 
"I mean, when you look at these snowflakes on my glove, they are all different. When you look at the snow in the yard, all together, they look the same. Together they are even more beautiful."
 
Dad sat there for a moment, thinking. 
 
"Choice," he said.
 
"Choice?" the child asked.
 
"One of the greatest gifts that God has given us is the gift of choice.  As different as we all are, we have one thing in common. We can choose what we do, how we dress, where we live, and how we treat each other."
 
"So choice is a bad thing?" the boy asked.
 
"Oh, no. Only when we choose the wrong things."
 
"How do we know what's right and what's wrong?" the child asked.
 
Dad looked around now, struggling to build upon this moment. Yes, it would have been easy to fall back on "We just do." But he was in a special place right now. He was given the chance to build upon the very foundation of his son's faith.
 
Dad nervously shuffled his foot in the snow as he searched his heart for just the right answer.
 
"Let's say all of this snow was all the people of the world. Together they are beautiful. They are now given the gift of choice. They realize how well they work together, so they begin to build."
 
Dad reached down and divided the snow into two sides.
 
"Both sides acknowledge their differences.  One says, 'Let's get together and build upon those differences.  Let's do things that will help the world. The other side says the same thing, but can't come to an agreement on how to do it, so they each break off into separate piles."
 
Dad stopped for a moment and looked at his son.
 
"Do you understand so far?"
 
"Yes, I think so," the boy replied.
 
Then, without saying another word, Dad continued to work with the snow. On the first side he built three large snowballs.  On the other he made several smaller ones.
 
"Which side did the right thing?" he asked the boy.
 
The child looked at both sides but couldn't come up with an answer. "Dad, I don't know."
 
Then Dad placed the three larger snowballs on top of each other.
 
"It's a snowman!" the boy shouted.
 
"Now, which side did the right thing?"
 
"The side that made the snowman!" he replied with enthusiasm.
 
"Yes, all these people came together and recognizing how special each of them were, they joined in an effort to build up mankind," Dad said.
 
The child then stood up and gathered an arm full of the smaller snowballs. One by one he began to throw them at the other small piles of snow.
 
"What are you doing?" Dad asked.
 
"This is what happens when people can't work together. They have a war," he said.
 
Dad was stunned. He stood up, lifted the boy and held him tightly. 
 
Whispering in his ear, he said, "I pray to God that your world will learn to work and live together."
 
The boy leaned back in the comfort and protection of his father's arms, looked at him and said, "I will make the right choice. I will learn to build the best snowman ever."
 
 

Ten Simple Ways to Make Your Home Prayer-Friendly
 By Maureen Pratt


Home is where the heart is. It is also where many of us pray. But sometimes, it might seem as if there is so much going on at home, and there are so many things standing in the way of purposeful prayer, that we might not be able to focus spiritually as well as we would like.

Click through our gallery of ten simple ways to transform home from solely a place of daily routine to a place of prayer.

 

Find Quiet

 When we open our hearts to prayer, we don't need a large physical space, but we do need focus and quiet. Whether you pray in one place, or constantly in each room, encourage quiet. Feel God's presence with you and pray. Just pray.

Sprinkle Beauty Throughout

 Each day, we meet troubles and ugliness. But the spirit is beautiful and needs wholesome influences to grow strong and deep.

So, place small things of beauty all around your home and regard them often - a child's painted handprint, one special flower, a finely-wrought seashell, an inspiring holy verse - and let them lead you into prayer.

Abide In Your Time

 Throughout most of the day, we have to stick to schedules. At home, when we pray, we do well to give over our minute-by-minute activities and surrender ourselves to God's time. Rather than consulting a watch when you pray, consult the Spirit.

Enjoy A Window to the World

 God's creation is all around us, but sometimes we don't really see it clearly. Taking time to sit comfortably beside a window and observing the birds, clouds, trees, even the rain and snow, can bring us closer to our world and, in prayer, closer to the divine.

Engage the Sense

 If music, scents such as lavender and vanilla, a soft pillow, or candlelight inspire you to be more attentive in prayer, add these to your time in quiet with God.
Keep Home Clean

 The space in which we pray is special. Keeping it clean is our way of honoring the gift of home. It also shows that we respect ourselves and anyone who enters into our living space. What a testament to our faith!
Diminish Clutter

 If our surroundings are too jumbled, we might find it difficult to focus our eyes and hearts on the simplicity of spirit. By reducing the amount of unnecessary things we keep in our homes, we leave space for breathing in openness and freshness of outlook.

We might also discover ways to give to others who truly do need what in our lives is unneeded.
Abandon Novelty

 The technologies of today have their place, but we require only the simplest of tools to pray--a willing and eager heart and dedicated time.

God listens to us, even if we're not amplified or reading from the latest edition of the Bible, and He knows what we need, even if we don't text-message our supplication!

 
 
 
 
Give Thanks Always

 One of the most joyful forms of prayer is that of thanksgiving. We can lift our spirits and our hearts by thanking God for all His gifts to us--for our toothbrushes and our tennis shoes, our morning meal and our nightly yawns. At home, everything is worthy of our thanks!

 
 
Nurture Peace

 In any house of prayer, peace is a vital part of building spiritual health. Encourage peace among family members, in your heart, and in your surroundings by mediating disputes with prayer, finding time each day to cultivate your own spirit, and achieving harmony of color and comfort in each room of your house, especially in your prayer corner.

 

Meditation for a Happy New You

A five-minute guided meditation.
By Rev. Vic Fuhrman & Barbara Biziou
Music by Barry Goldstein


       

You can say goodbye to the hostilities and grudges of the past that fester inside you, and keep you from surrendering to all that is life-affirming and new. You can embrace lightness and freedom. You can begin again. And what better time to start than now? Begin by dimming the lights or lighting a candle. Sit in a favorite spot or get cozy in your chair, and take a few deep breaths. Let us begin.

 Listen to the meditation.


This meditation requires RealPlayer. Click here to download.
Meditation credits.


Meditation Transcript

Take a few deep breaths and allow your body to take in all the air that it needs. Imagine your entire body softening.

Begin by thanking the divine for all the gifts in your life right now. Appreciating where we have been is a magical key to moving forward. Every situation and relationship from your past has taught you something useful, and has made you who you are today.

Now notice those things that have outlived their usefulness. What keeps you stuck? What stops you from living your deepest dreams? Recognize the obstacles to achieving the changes that you choose for your life. Begin to make mental notes of all of those things that you are ready to release.

Where are you still holding resentment toward another? Towards yourself?

Let all your fears, worries, doubts, disappointments, and anger surface in your mind... envision them as a muddy stream which flows out of you as you breathe. See yourself releasing old hurts, sadness, imbalance, and injustice in your life from the past and present. Feel them dissolving, pouring out of your body.

Just let them go. Release all the "should haves," "could haves," "if onlys." There are many layers to let go of, so for now, let go of those things that you are able to. Just let them go.

Now see what items, relationships or situations you have outgrown or that need to shift in some way. Take the time to express gratitude for the lessons learned, and then visualize them gently leaving or changing to promote your new reality.

As you free yourself from the past you open up space for fresh, honest relationships and exciting new opportunities to come into your life.

As the old energy flows out, experience a new lightness, feel a new power and vitality entering into your mind and body opening up space for compassion, for forgiveness, for health, for prosperity and success. Invite in those people who are able to respect and honor your growth and change.

Dwell in this new space for a short time, opening your heart and expressing gratitude for the opportunity to grow and move forward. Honor and acknowledge yourself for the courage to clear house and let go.

Now imagine that you can breathe in the qualities that you need for this new part of your life. Breathe in courage to be true to yourself. Just breathe it in. Breathe in patience, discipline, spontaneity, anything that you feel would assist you in this new beginning. See yourself as strong and positive.

In your minds eye, picture what you would like to receive in your life and imagine yourself easily receiving these gifts. Feel yourself radiating with positive energy as you attract new people, ideas and situations.

See yourself joyful and content with this new reality.

Slowly begin to deepen your breaths. Gently move your fingers and toes. Gently begin to turn your head from side to side. Keeping your eyes closed, take three final deep breaths. When you are ready, you may open yours eyes. Many blessings for a "Happy New You!"

This is an incredible message...

You have to be SURE to watch it all the way through.
http://www.sermonspice.com/videos/10153/the-truth/
As we look toward a brand new year
Then gaze back to the past
We pause with mixed emotions
And memories that still last.

We walk toward the future together
Heart to heart and hand in hand.

Such blessings change lives, and one generation passes them along to the next.
On this final day of the year, why not leave some small blessing
for those who will follow after you?
 
 
Let this coming year be better than all the others.
Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time.
 
 
Happy New Year

Staying home to welcome 2008?  No need to miss the celebrations!  Just go to the Happy New Year site and see how cities around the world have celebrated in the past.  Panoramas from major cities are available for your viewing pleasure.  What could be better than being transported to New York for the ball to drop.  How about watching fireworks with the socially elite in Dubai.  Whatever your pleasure, whether it be Amsterdam, Lisbon or even the Bahamas, these destinations are all within your reach thanks to Jook Leung, an ABC newsman.  Happy New Year!  We at BeliefNet wish you and yours a very happy, healthy and prosperous 2008!
 
 

Tips on How to Organize Your Life

When your to-do list gets overwhelming, there's a natural way to figure out your next step. Tune into this gentle process.
By Jennifer Louden

It's mid-morning, and several minor crises have already derailed you. Your plan for the day is in shambles, your to-do list feels like a boulder around your neck, and all you want to do is hide. You’re reaching for a Diet Coke in the hopes that it will give you the energy to decide which item on your list to tackle. Then you remember that there’s another way. You make the choice.

 

You feel your feet connecting with the ground beneath you. You take a deep breath and reach your arms overhead, exhaling with a huge sigh. You put your hand on your heart and recall feeling balanced and flowing, trusting the flow of life. You gently ask, "What choice feels the easiest in this moment?" You visualize yourself bringing this question into your heart, and take a breath or two to infuse it with flow and peace. Perhaps a brief image of your sister comes to mind. Or maybe you hear a refrain of an old song, and when you focus on it, you realize it reminds you of your sister. Or perhaps you remember the feeling of your sister hugging you. You call your sister, have a lovely chat, and when you get off the phone, you have new energy —enough to move you forward to the next task awaiting you.

 

Do you begin to see to get the picture of how this approach flows with life? I’m not proposing you sell your worldly possessions and move to the woods to live in an unheated yurt. I’m not recommending you consult crystals or the I Ching before moving a muscle. What I am saying is that when you think you’re lost, overwhelmed, and without direction, you do “know” what to do to restore your balance and your direction–but it’s a different kind of knowing, one you already possess, and need only be reminded of how to access.

 

This is part of the process I call "Life Organizing." It's infinitely richer than plotting your days in 15-minute increments in your day planner, but it does require trusting your own experiences.  It involves a quick in-the-moment check-in that lowers your stress while allowing you to move beyond your conscious mind and respond with creativity and intuition to challenges and opportunities. Here are some of the check-in steps from the example above:

 

1. Connect: Move your body – breathe deeper, stretch your arms overhead, step outside and feel the breeze on your skin- anything that connects you with your life energy.

 

2. Feel: Tune into your heart, which can give you information your head can’t. Simply put your attention on your heart, perhaps by placing your hand there. Recall a time in which you felt loved and appreciated or loving and appreciative toward someone else. Linger there for a few seconds.

 

3. Inquire: Ask a mindful question. This opens up possibilities you literally couldn’t see before. In the first example, the mindful question was: What choice feels the easiest in this moment? Another of my favorite questions: What do I need to know right now?

 

4. Allow: To allow is simply trusting that by connecting, feeling, and inquiring, you will hear or see or feel or sense what your next step is—and only your next step.. Allowing is not about belief: it’s about noticing your experience and opening to your next step, allowing love, inspiration, and knowing to come into your body and heart, to inform and direct you.
MORE:
A Moment of Calm: A 10-Minute Mindfulness Meditation
Change Your Focus, Change Your Life
Five Ways to Welcome Change
 
(ok, I know it says 2005, but it was too cute!)
THE TOP TEN PREDICTIONS FOR 2008
1.   The Bible will still have all the answers.
2.   Prayer will still work.
3.   The Holy Spirit will still move.
4.  God will still inhabit the praises of His people.
5.   There will still be God-anointed preaching.
6.   There will still be singing of praise to God.
7.  God will still pour out blessings upon His people.
8.   There will still be room at the Cross.
9.  Jesus will still love you.
10. Jesus will still save the lost.
God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at you.
         It's your choice: Listen to the whisper, or wait for the brick.
 

Taking Down the Christmas Tree

By Dr. Lyla Berry

The house is now quiet.  The process of taking down the festive decorations, and especially the Christmas tree, always brings a wave of sadness.  It marks the end of a point in my life that cannot be experienced again.  A flood of memories comes rushing back, and I savor those times when my children and I experienced such joyous times.  As I take down each ornament and lay it away for another year, I remember the significance of each one.  There’s the little brown lion my son made for me in the third grade.  Over the years, it lost one leg, but it still hangs proudly on the tree year after year.  I remember the ornaments my daughter made by hand for me when she attended college and didn’t have enough money to buy a present.  Sometimes, those presents are the most cherished.


I remember the good times.  I remember the lean times when there wasn’t enough money to buy a tree on which to hang the ornaments.  Somehow, things always turned out all right.  I remember when the children were young and so excited to hang the ornaments on the tree.  But I also remember the teen years when they could have cared less.

Life is made up of memories, and as I once again take down the Christmas decorations, I have yet another Christmas to put into my very special memory bank.

THE GREAT PHYSICIAN

Prescribed by the Great Physician
*****************************
The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Noah was a drunk
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer... AND
Lazarus was dead!

Now! No more excuses!
God can use you to your full potential.
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
God is waiting to use you at your full potential

GOD PUTS A RAINBOW IN EVERY TEARDROP

 
 
 
OH THAT YOU WOULD BLESS ME ABUNDANTLY, AND ENLARGE MY TERRITORY, THAT YOUR HAND BE UPON ME AND KEEP ME FROM ALL EVIL SO THAT I MAY NOT CAUSE PAIN TO ANYONE.  1 chronicles 4: 9
 

Finding My Way

I was directionless in my life until a young girl's friendship showed me the way.
By Zan Gaudioso


 
I started college when I was sixteen years old. It was a big, scary place, and I was young. I remember standing in line for registration with the hordes of other people. I felt so insecure and inadequate next to those who were my supposed peers. How would I ever measure up to these people who seemed so confident and sure of what they wanted?

I didn't have any specific direction. I didn't have a clue as to what I wanted to do or be. College was just the next logical step. I felt very much out of place. To me, these people around me embodied my picture of the consummate college student. They stood there laughing with their friends, a cup of coffee in one hand, the schedule of classes in the other, discussing their options for the upcoming semester. Me, I had a list of classes on a piece of paper that I had painstakingly worked out with my big brother the night before. If I didn't get those particular classes, I was sunk. The idea of having a backup plan never even occurred to me. What would I do? I would just die. I knew that crying wasn't an option - I was in college for heaven's sake! Maybe throwing up would be a more socially acceptable reaction. I was alone, nervous and feeling like a cartoon in a museum of priceless paintings.

When the first week of classes started, I had the daunting task of trying to figure out where my classes were in this city they called a school. I was already exhausted by the overwhelming task of trying to park my car. Feeling awkward, out of place and in a world of logistical nightmares, studying and getting an education were the last things on my mind. But I put one foot in front of the other and prayed I would find some solace somewhere. And I did.

He walked into my life and into the huge auditorium that looked more like a movie theater than a classroom. But instead of taking a seat in the large lecture hall, he continued toward the front of the room to teach the class. He was smart and funny. I started to find any excuse to visit his office. This strange new world started to hold new meaning for me, and I began to explore it with more bravado. That was the good news. The bad news was that I had a crush on a man who was twice my age, married and had a family. But I felt helpless among all these new feelings and experiences I was having. Was this what becoming an adult meant? It all seemed too confusing.

I excelled in his class. One day he asked me if I wanted to help him grade papers, file and do some office work - a teacher's aide of sorts. There was no need to ask me twice. As the weeks passed, we shared lots of time together. I learned how to drink coffee over long philosophical conversations. We became friends.

Much to my surprise, out of the blue, he asked me if I would consider doing some baby-sitting for him. I was getting an invitation to become part of his private world. I was given directions to his house and told to come by that Thursday.

I arrived at his house promptly at six. He greeted me at the door. "Thank you so much for doing this. It's very important to me." He explained that his wife was taking care of her ailing mother and had taken their eight-month-old baby with her. Lily, their six-year-old, needed special care, and he was hoping to find someone who would click with her.

"Lily has cystic fibrosis and spends too much of her little life in bed." My heart just broke as I saw the love he had in his eyes for his little girl.

He took me into her room and, in the middle of a princess bed, sat this fair-haired little angel. She had some sort of breathing apparatus next to her bed that looked strangely out of place. What happened next was something I wasn't prepared for.

"This is the girl I told you about, Sweetie," he signed to his daughter. It turned out that Lily was deaf as well. I panicked. How would I communicate with her? What if there was an emergency?

"Her oral skills are good enough that you will be able to understand her, and you'll probably pick up some sign language. I'll only be gone a couple of hours." He left me with emergency numbers and pertinent information, and then he was gone.

I sat down on the bed with Lily, and her little fingers started flying. I shrugged my shoulders to let her know that I was lost. She smiled sweetly and then started to use her voice. She explained how it was easier to breathe when she let her fingers do her talking. That night I had my first lesson in sign language.

Over the next couple of months, I spent a lot of time with Lily. As I got to know Lily's dad as a father and as a husband, the crush changed. Now I was falling in love with his daughter. She taught me so much: not only how to sign, but also how to appreciate each moment in my life and how worrying over needless things was just stupid. We laughed together when she taught me the sign for stupid, where you take the closed fist of your right hand and knock on the side of your forehead - as if you're knocking to try to get in. She laughed as I made believe that I was hurting myself by knocking on my head too hard. And she would sign, "You hurt yourself just as much when you really do worry." She was wise beyond her years. Besides giving me her love, Lily also gave me direction. I went on to get a bachelor's degree in special education with an emphasis in deaf education.

I remained friends with Lily and her whole family throughout my college years and beyond. The crush I had on my college professor served me very well. I learned a great deal about life at the hands of a young child.

Some years later, I was asked to sign the Lord's Prayer at Lily's funeral. Everyone there told stories about how this one small life made such a big difference to so many. And, as Lily taught me when she showed me the sign for I love you, "Make sure when you use this sign that you really mean it."
 

'You Shall Not Insult the Deaf'

I had always resisted writing about Dad's deafness, but when he was in a serious car accident, my writing helped me cope.
By Lilit Marcus

A high school guidance counselor urged me to apply for a college scholarship for people who had "overcome tremendous disadvantages" while pursuing an education. He told me that if I wrote an essay about how difficult it was to grow up with hearing-impaired parents (deaf father, hard-of-hearing mother), I’d be a "shoo-in" to win.

"It wasn’t that difficult," I told him. "I don’t think it's fair for me to write this."

"Of course it was difficult," he said. "You're just being modest."

The money was tempting. All I had to do was write a few hundred words about how I always had to interpret for my parents and make phone calls for them. Throw in a couple of weepy one-liners about "lack of a childhood" and "having too much responsibility too soon" and the contest judges would choose me as the winner. The truth is, though, when I look back on my childhood, the things I remember are road trips to the Grand Canyon, the swing set in our backyard, and gathering every night for dinner at 6:00. I remember my father giving me books to read so that we could have long talks about them when I was finished. My mother used to bring home a piece of candy or some other treat from the grocery store and would have it waiting for me when I got home from school so that I could eat it while we talked about my day.

I hate using the word "disability" to talk about my parents. Sometimes they were at an advantage: in a noisy restaurant, we were all able to have a pleasant conversation. Often, I considered myself lucky. I was bilingual. I could play my music as loud as I wanted. More importantly, I had two parents who loved and supported me. The way that I want to write about hearing loss is as a small component of a larger story. It's unfair to say that their hearing had no bearing on my childhood, but it wasn't everything. My parents didn't take me to the movies. But they did take me to the park, to Girl Scout meetings, and to friends' houses after school. For everything they were unable to do, there were a thousand things they were able to do.

I never wrote that essay. I went to college and majored in English with the intention of becoming a writer. I wrote about everything except my parents-- guys I liked, adventures with friends, Joni Mitchell, college life, the influence of gender in 20th century fiction. That all changed in the summer of 2003. I was about to be a senior in college. I was living in Greensboro, NC, near campus, more than an hour away from my parents in Raleigh. I had a cool internship and looked forward to writing my senior thesis. One day when I was out with a friend shopping for paper lanterns for a garden party, I got a phone call from my sister. "Something happened," she said. "Dad's been in a car accident. You need to come home."

For a while, I didn't know what was happening or even if he was alive. I threw laundry into a bag and drove in the direction of home, flying 90 miles per hour down the highway, daring a cop to give me a ticket. When I got to the hospital I got the story. My father had been turning left and was hit by a man who had run a red light. The car door on the driver's side was smashed in, leaving my father with three broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a cut on his spleen. But alive. Very much alive.

There he was, my dad, my invincible dad, in a hospital bed hooked up to wires and tubes. He was awake, signing, asking for water. Each day he improved, first getting his neck brace off, then having his breathing tubes taken out. The human body is an amazing thing. Reinflate a lung and then it fixes the puncture itself. Drain some blood from around the spleen, and it heals itself. I could feel myself coming together as I watched him get better.

A Catholic woman in the hospital lobby was counting the beads on her rosary. "Do you pray?" she asked me.

"I’ve been trying to pray all day," I said. "But I can't."

"People pray in many different ways," she told me. "For me, waking up in the morning is a prayer."

"People in school used to tell me they would pray for my parents to be able to hear."

"Is that what you pray for?"

"You shall not insult the deaf," I thought, recalling a line from the Book of Leviticus. It was a line read as part of the Rosh Hashanah service. Rosh Hashanah meant the New Year, meant growth and change and renewal. "No," I said. "I pray that they'll both wake up in the morning."

I never wrote that essay about how hard my childhood was. Instead, I wrote an essay about how my father didn't die. The words I hadn't been able to speak suddenly gushed onto paper. I was grateful and sad and alone all at the same time. My own lungs were reinflated. The cut on my own spleen began to heal. I prayed on paper and watched my father sleep


The Lord is my Shepherd

That's Relationship!


I shall not want

That's Supply!

 

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.


That's Rest!




 

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

That's Refreshment!




He restoreth my soul

That's Healing!


 


He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.

That's Guidance!


For His name sake

That's Purpose!



Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

That's Testing!




I will fear no evil.

That's Protection!




For Thou art with me

That's Faithfulness!


 

 


Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me,

That's Discipline!




Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

That's Hope!


 

Thou anointest my head with oil,

That's Consecration!

 

My cup runneth over.

That's Abundance!





 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

That's Blessing!


 


And I will dwell in the house of the Lord.
 That's Security!

Forever

That's Eternity!


 

 
50,000  < click



Christmas in the Sticks

By Debby Mongeau

The year I moved to Alaska, I lived with my husband’s family while he stayed in Montana and worked.  I had never been around a huge family before, and he was the oldest of ten children, most of them married with kids of their own.  They all lived within a forty-mile radius and used any excuse for a family gathering.

No one had any money.  Kids were small, families were young, and many of the parents worked more than one job just to pay the bills.


But that first year, the Christmas of 1981, they showed me what giving was all about.

I had only been there for about six months and was still in awe of the strength and power that the love of a big family can generate.  What they did that year was a long-standing tradition for them, but I had never seen anything like it.

Two days before Christmas, the entire family gathered at Mom’s house.  Each couple threw one hundred dollars into a pot; singles tossed in fifty dollars if they could; kids pitched in allowances or baby-sitting money.

Then the church assigned us a name and an address, and we got “our family.”  We were all eager to help once we knew the situation: Dad’s been out of work; the baby’s been sick; Mom didn’t want to put up a Christmas tree because she didn’t want the children to be disappointed when Santa didn’t come; the power company had shut the gas off once, but the church had paid the bill.

First we went to the grocery store.  Ten adults, a dozen or more kids, we took the store by storm.  Stomping snow off our boots and shedding hats and gloves, we worked up and down the aisles with five carts, soon full of turkey, dressing, potatoes, pies and Christmas candy.  Someone thought of simple stuff, how about toilet paper?  Did anyone get butter?  What about orange juice and eggs for breakfast?

Then the kids got to work.  I watched, amazed, as a six-year-old gave up her two-dollar allowance so another little girl could have new mittens.  I saw a ten-year-old’s eyes light up when he found the illuminated sword he’d wanted, and then put it in the cart for a little boy he didn’t even know.  A warm, fuzzy blanket for the baby was my four-year-old nephew’s choice.

Back to Mom’s to wrap the gifts.  There were two separate boxes of hand-me-down clothes, sized, pressed and folded.  Soon ten grocery-store boxes, overflowing with holiday food, joined them.

The kids created an assembly line to wrap gifts: big gifts, little gifts, special mugs and warm driving gloves.  Paper and ribbon were everywhere.  Laughter was woven in and out of satiny bows; love was taped to every tag.

Colorful plastic sleds were shoved in the back of the Bronco and stashed in the available trunk space of warm cars idling in the sub-zero Christmas chill.  The moon was out, and the trees were covered with hoar frost, glittering like a snow globe in a happy child’s hand.

The favorite uncle got to play Santa.  Dressed in a dapper red suit, he led the caravan to the trailer stuck back in the scrubby alder woods.  Once we had to stop because the ruts in the snow got too deep, and someone’s car bottomed out.  We transferred gifts and people, and we carried on.

There were no other houses around the frosty mobile home, but the lights were on and a dog on a long rope barked from the wooden porch when we pulled up.  Most of us stayed out on the main road, but we loaded the boxes on the sleds, tied them together and sent “Santa” and a few of the older kids to the door.  We hung back and sang “Silent Night.”

Santa and his helpers knocked and went right in when the door opened.  The young family had, after all, decided to put up a tree, and they were stringing lights when we got there.  They stood, stunned, as the Santa’s helpers unloaded box after box, piled gifts upon gifts.  It wasn’t long before the tree was dwarfed by a mountain of presents.

Santa said the mom didn’t start crying until she pulled the wool coat out of the clothing box.  She only said, “Where did you come from?” and then, softly, “Thank you so much.”

With the standard “ho, ho, ho” and lots of “merry Christmases!” the delivery crew sprinted back to the car.

We sang one last verse of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” jumped in our magic sleighs and disappeared into the night.
 

FALL OF THE YEAR AT BUTCHART GARDENS, VICTORIA, BC, CANADA


Only the Hand of God could create such  Masterpiece!


















The work of our Master.

When you are reluctant to change, think of the beauty of autumn.
 
 
Northern Lights
I am fascinated by these, and is the one thing I really strive to want so see one day.

  Yellowknife, Canada

 

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The Perito Moreno glacier, Argentina on Vimeo
 

Perito Moreno Glacier

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

The Perito Moreno G

Patagonia, Argentina - Perito Moreno Glacier
Patagonia, Argentina - Perito Moreno Glacier

lacier (50°29′S, 73°03′W) is a glacier located in the Los Glaciares National Park in the south west of Santa Cruz province, Argentina. It is one of the most important tourist attractions in the Argentine Patagonia.

The 250 km² ice formation, of 30 km in length, is one of 48 glaciers fed by the Southern Patagonian Ice Field located in the Andes system shared with Chile. This icefield is the world's third largest reserve of fresh water.

Satellite image of the Glacier. Note the colour difference between both sides of the lake.
Satellite image of the Glacier. Note the colour difference between both sides of the lake.

The Perito Moreno Glacier is one of only three Patagonian glaciers that are not retreating. Periodically the glacier advances over the L-shaped "Lago Argentino" ("Argentine Lake") forming a natural dam which separates the two halves of the lake when it reaches the opposite shore. With no escape route, the water-level on the Brazo Rico side of the lake can rise by up to 30 meters above the level of the main lake. The enormous pressure produced by this mass of waters finally breaks the ice barrier holding it back, in a spectacular rupture event. This dam/rupture cycle is not regular and it naturally recurs at any frequency between once a year to less than once a decade.

The glacier on the shore 2 weeks before the 2004 rupture
The glacier on the shore 2 weeks before the 2004 rupture

The terminus of the Perito Moreno Glacier is 5 km wide, with an average height of 60 meters above the surface of the water, with a total ice depth of 170 meters. It advances at a speed of up to 2 m per day (around 700 m per year), although it loses mass at approximately the same rate, meaning that aside from small variations, its terminus has not advanced or receded in the past 90 years. At its deepest part, the glacier has a depth of approximately 700 m.

Large piece of ice collapses as the glacier advances
Large piece of ice collapses as the glacier advances

The Perito Moreno glacier, located 78 km from El Calafate, was named after the explorer Francisco Moreno, a pioneer who studied the region in the 19th century and played a major role in defending the territory of Argentina in the conflict surrounding the international border dispute with Chile.

 
 
 
 


The Perito Moreno glacier is one of the few in the world that is not shrinking..

Every few years it flows fast enough to reach the other side of the lake...

...where water running under it hollows out a bridge...

...which then sheds huge chunks of ice and eventually suffers total structural failure, very loudly.

Sadly we were there one day early.

See the panorama, watch the video.
 
 
The Perito Moreno Glacier: Interesting Thing of the Day
 
Calaveras Big Trees State Park, California
 
Calaveras Big Trees State Park Pictures

 

A Cell-Phone Christmas

By Judy Lockhart DiGregorio

A cell phone is not the gift of choice for a woman who hates to talk on the phone.  However, one Christmas, my husband, Dan, decided he could not make it through another year without a cell phone, so he thoughtfully bought one for me, too.

I tried to appear enthusiastic, but I’m not one of those people who enjoys phone conversations.  As a training specialist at a government agency for twenty-seven years, I often responded to fifty phone calls per day.  The last thing I wanted to experience again was the numbing sensation of an earpiece plastered to my ear.

Although my silver cell phone was as sleek and shiny as a new Corvette, it didn’t turn me on.  I didn’t turn it on either, so I received very few calls at first, except from Dan.  After a month or so, I began to toy with the phone and cautiously began to build a list of contacts and phone numbers.  I followed the instruction guide as best I could, but with limited success.

The directions said to type in the phone number, save it, then push the letters to spell out the name.  This sounded simple, but since the letters were in groups of three on the numbered key pad, the correct letter did not always appear on the screen.  For instance, when I typed in the name of my son, Chuck, the screen read Achuck.  I couldn’t figure out how to delete the A, so I left it.  Unfortunately, most of the names that ended up in my contact list had similar misspellings.

In the meantime, Dan gave his cell phone more attention than a new puppy.  He played with it constantly, investigating every option on the menu.  Then he called me to inform me of his latest discovery.

“Brring.”

“Yes?”

“It’s me.  What are you doing?”

“I’m downstairs working on my column.  What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m upstairs playing with my new phone.”

One day, Dan asked me for the phone number of my brother, Lester, in San Antonio.  I told him to check the list of contacts on my cell phone.  I knew I had put in Lester’s name, although I didn’t know what kind of weird spelling it might have.

Dan opened my cell phone, punched the menu button, and scrolled through the list of contacts.

“What kind of gibberish is this?” he said.  “These names don’t make any sense.  Who is Any?”

“That’s my friend, Amy.”

“What about ‘cellc’?”

“That’s Candie’s cell phone.”

“Don’t tell me you know someone named Faky.”

“No, that was supposed to say Daly, but I couldn’t make the D and L appear.”

“I don’t know how you recognize any of these names.  Who is Frocel?”

“You know.  Frolio’s cell phone.”

“Okay, let me guess.  Inha must be Inga, and Kathyc is Kathy’s cell phone.”

“You’re catching on now.”

“And Maaahele is Michelle?”

“Right.”

“I still can’t find your brother, Lester.  Wait a minute.  Is he listed as Ester?”

“Yep.  I couldn’t get the L to pop up.”

“This is like reading hieroglyphics.  Tell me who mdjjjjj is.”

“Oh, that’s Melissa.  At least, I got the M on her name.”

“I give up on the next one.  It’s someone called Rally.”

“That’s easy.  Rally is Sally.”

Dan shook his head as he handed the cell phone back to me, laughing.

“As long as you can decipher who those names are, I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Since that day, I’ve added numerous other contacts to my phone, some spelled correctly and some spelled creatively.  The cell phone turned out to be a valuable Christmas gift that I’ve grown to depend on, even if I occasionally tire of its ringing.

Oops, it’s ringing right now.  Who can it be?  Uh huh, I should have known - just another call from my husband Fan.

New Year Wishes

 
 
Celebrate the New Year
New Year
With midnight approaching and "Auld Lang Syne" playing in the background, 2008 is almost here. Don't fret over your plans, whether it's a blowout New Year's Eve party or a mellow New Year's Day brunch. Allrecipes has everything you need to start this year off right.
Winter Warmers
Eggnog
Eggnog or hot chocolate, cocktails or punch, winter warmers are a favorite part of the holiday season. Allrecipes has advice for drinks, mocktails, and winter favorites like spiced wine, cider, and wassail. We can even help pair a perfect wine with your holiday dinner. Don't let the cold get to you this year--with Allrecipes, cozy comfort is just a sip away.
 
Champagne Punch II
A frozen fruit ring floats in a bowl of cognac, wine, and champagne.
Cranberry Wassail
Wassail is a hot spiced punch often served for winter celebrations, with historic roots in Northern Europe. This version adds cranberry and pineapple to the traditional cider base for the wassail.

 
Cook's Word of the Week
hoppin' John
Said to have originated with African slaves on Southern plantations, hoppin' John is a dish of black-eyed peas cooked with salt pork and seasonings and served with cooked rice. Tradition says that if hoppin' John is eaten on New Year's day, it will bring good luck.
Rock Salt Encrusted Prime Rib
 
Seal in flavor and juices with this novel way of cooking roast beef. Wrapped in a salt batter, the beef's moisture and natural juices are sealed in keeping the meat extra tender and delicious. Make au jus separately since the roast's drippings will be too salty to use.
Christmas Egg Puff
 
Eggs, butter and cheese are quickly blended together in this easy stir-together egg dish for large groups.
 

101 appetizers

Christmas is behind us. But that doesn’t mean the party season is over! There’s still New Year’s Eve to consider.

Perhaps you're planning to have guests over to help usher in 2008.

You should start planning what you’re going to serve. I'll bet that you don’t want to go all out. You just did that for Christmas!

Appetizers are a better choice for New Year’s. Need some ideas?

Then visit the New York Times. It has a list of 101 appetizers. Each takes less than 20 minutes to make! Your guests will think you spent hours toiling in the kitchen!

But you will be faced with a tough choice: Which of the 101 appetizers will you serve?

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITE, GO HERE:
www.nytimes.com

 
 
 
Marbled Potatoes

from True Grits  . . .
Tall Tales and Recipes from the New South

INGREDIENTS:

1 pound red potatoes
1 pound sweet potatoes
2 large scallions, chopped
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
1/2 cup whipping cream, whipped
  Nutmeg to taste
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup fresh bread crumbs
2 tablespoons melted butter or margarine
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
Click here to read and print the complete recipe
Salmon Florentine

from From Portland’s Palate...
A Collection of Recipes from the City of Roses

INGREDIENTS FOR SALMON:

4 sheets frozen puff pastry
2 (10-ounce) packages frozen chopped spinach
6 ounces crab meat
8 ounces freshly-grated Parmesan cheese
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 to 3/4 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup sherry
Salt and pepper
2 cups fresh mushrooms (10 large mushrooms), chopped
3 to 4 tablespoons butter
5 pounds salmon fillets
1 egg white, slightly beaten

INGREDIENTS FOR LEMON HOLLANDAISE SAUCE:

3 egg yolks
1-1/2 tablespoons freshly-squeezed lemon juice
4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, divided
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
Salt and freshly-ground white pepper 
 
(I'd use fresh spinach and a dry mix hollandaise)
 
Click here to read and print the complete recipe
 

Spinach and Goat Cheese Salad with Warm Balsamic Vinaigrette

from Stop and Smell the Rosemary ,
Recipes and Traditions to Remember

INGREDIENTS FOR WARM BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE:

1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 teaspoon poppy seeds
2/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

INGREDIENTS FOR SALAD:

2 pounds fresh spinach, torn and coarse stems discarded
2 red bell peppers, roasted, seeded, and cut into strips
4 ounces goat cheese, crumbled (1 cup)
1 red onion, halved and thinly sliced
Click here to read and print the complete recipe
 

Friendship Christmas Fudge
Fudge pieces on a decorative white plate
Stock Photography
 
I come up with this recipe while trying to think of something homemade to give my friends for Christmas. The cranberries add a wonderful holiday touch to this fudge.

 
 
Bourbon Pound Cake

from True Grits  . . .
Tall Tales and Recipes from the New South

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup butter or margarine, softened
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup bourbon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

 
Hogmanay dinner
(A  Scottish New Year's Eve tradition )

 One Wee Scottish Farty (Tae A Fart)

 

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek

But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty

 

(author unknown)

 
 
new year holiday eve day anthropomorphic calendar date daybyday horror fear fright frighten cartoons
 
New Year's Eve is the last day of the year, December 31st.

The celebration of this holiday begins when Americans gather to wish each other a happy and prosperous coming year. At the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, people cheer and sing "Auld Lang Syne." The song, which means "old long since" or roughly "the good old days," was written by Robert Burns in 1788.

It is traditional to make toasts on New Year's Eve as well. Making New Year's resolutions – pledges to change for the better in the coming year – is a common activity associated with this holiday.

New Year's Day is the oldest and most universal holiday. The Romans were the first to observe January 1 as New Year's Day in 153 B.C. In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII instituted the Gregorian calendar still in use today, setting January 1 as New Year's Day. Prior to this, many countries celebrated the new year on April 1st in celebration with the new spring season. It was celebrated much the same way as it is today with parties and dancing into the late hours of the night. The origin of April Fool's Day can be traced to this change.

Typically, the old year is represented by "Father Time," an elderly man with a flowing gray beard, and the new year is represented by an infant. One of the largest celebrations in the world is at Times Square in New York City where the New Year's Eve Ball descends at the stroke of midnight. Times Square has been the center of worldwide attention since 1904 when the owners of One Times Square began conducting rooftop celebrations to usher in the new year.

 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
New Years Quotes

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
- Jay Leno

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.
- John Selden

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
- Benjamin Franklin

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anon

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
- Oscar Wilde

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds
and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
- Mark Twain

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
- Leonard Bernstein

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
- Author Unknown

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- Bill Vaughan

javascript:void(0);

MORE GREAT NEW YEARS QUOTES...

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Bill Vaughan

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's.
- Henry Moore

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
- Anon

Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time? I want an interregnum. The stupid years patter on with unrelenting feet, never stopping -
rising to little monotonous peaks in our imaginations at festivals like New Year's and Easter and Christmas But, goodness, why need they do it?
- John Dos Passos

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
- Eric Zorn

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
- Joey Adams

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
- James Agate

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
- Hamilton Wright Mabie

New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
- Mark Twain

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.
- William Thomas

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
- Jay Leno

 


Resolve to Make Resolutions This New Year

If you’re making a New Year’s Resolution this year, here are some tips to help you along.

  • When setting your goal, make sure it is realistic. You probably aren’t going to be able to work out 7 days a week, swear off sweets for good, or magically become a millionaire. The more realistic your goal, the better your chances of accomplishing it.
  • Once you settle on one goal, create an outline of how you plan on achieving your goal. For example, if your goal is to be more financially secure, create a list of ways you will work towards this, such as setting up an appointment with a financial advisor, creating a (new) budget, and asking for a raise at work.
  • With your outline, the next step is to set a timeline that is realistic (just like your goal). As you accomplish each task by the completed date, think of a reward for yourself to help motivate you. It could be splurging on a CD or a special night out at your favorite restaurant. Just be sure that your reward does not take you off your track for success.
  • In the event that you lose motivation or slip a little, make a list of ways you’ll get back on track. It happens to the best of us, so be prepared by using friends and family as support to help you stay on course. You could also join a group online or in your area with people who have set similar goals and use each other for motivation as well.
  • Just remember, even the worst case scenario that you fall off your resolution bandwagon, you can always start back up, no matter what time of year it is. Stick with it and remember - you can do it!
Did You Know...

The names of all the continents end with the same letter they start with.
 
 
 
 
Have fun with Penguin mail!
 

How (Not) to Open A  Bottle of Champagne

Ruth Jones



Daddy, let me open the Champagne! Pleeeease?”



It was the last night of 1966, and I was twelve years old. My parents had agreed to let me stay up late for their New Year’s Eve party, and I was almost as excited as I had been a week earlier on Christmas Eve. My younger sister and brother were in bed sound asleep, and I felt grown up and sophisticated—as much as a twelve-year-old can feel at a party for adults. I wore a new holiday dress that night and my very first pair of hose.


“Okay,” Daddy agreed, looking like a bald Cary Grant in his new tuxedo. “Come over here by the sink, and I’ll show you how to uncork a bottle of bubbly.” He grinned as he untwisted the protective metal shield from the top of the bottle. “Here you go. Now, push up on the cork and it’ll pop right out.”

I worked at the cork with both thumbs, but it wouldn’t budge. “I can’t do it!”



“Sure you can,” Daddy answered. “I’ll get you started.” He pried the cork a quarter-inch upwards and then handed the bottle back to me. “Try again.”



I gave my hero a cheerful smile, shook the magnum as I’d seen people do in the movies, and shot the cork directly into the fluorescent light above the sink. The resulting explosion sounded like a cherry bomb, and Champagne gushed from the bottle like a geyser, covering the kitchen floor and the front of my new dress. I squealed in horror as the broken fluorescent bulb showered the kitchen with tinkling glass and sent us running for cover into the living room.



Mama hurried from the dining room where she had been arranging a spread of delectable party food. “What in the world is going on?” she asked when she saw our shell-shocked expressions. Have you two started the fireworks already?”



Daddy started laughing. He took the half-empty magnum of Champagne from my hands and gulped straight from the bottle. “Pretty good year, Mama,” he said, offering the Champagne to her.



I looked down at my ruined party dress and felt like crying.



Mama must have known. “Oh, honey, it’s okay,” she said. “Let’s get you washed up while Daddy cleans the kitchen.” Mama swigged some Champagne and handed the bottle back to Daddy. “Come on,” she said, taking my hand and leading me down the hall.



I changed into another dress, hoping the new one wasn’t permanently ruined. Mama powdered my nose, and let me put on a little pink lipstick and a dab of White Shoulders, saying that every woman should greet the New Year with as much glamour as possible. I was smiling again when the doorbell rang and I greeted our first guests.



“You’re too young for Champagne, Sweetie, but how about a little ginger ale in a champagne glass?” Daddy said, once the party was in full swing.



I nodded in agreement. I had sneaked a sip of Champagne earlier while my parents weren’t looking and much preferred the taste of ginger ale. Mama put a glittery cardboard and crepe paper crown on my head and gave me a noise maker. But as might be expected, the grown-up party proved to be boring for a girl my age. I soon toddled off to my parents’ bedroom to watch TV, taking my elegant glass of ginger ale and a full plate of party food with me. I fell asleep long before midnight.



Years passed before I managed to live down the debacle of shooting out the lights with a Champagne cork, but I made up for it by learning the proper way to handle sparkling wine. Now when I open a bottle of bubbly, I wrap a dish towel over the cork and push gently against it until I hear a slight pop. That’s all there is to it.



And believe me, I much prefer the flavor of good Champagne or sparkling wine to ginger ale these days. Nor do I limit the joy of sparkling wine to holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Every day is a special occasion if you make it one.


A New Year's Wish
 
 
 
WISHING YOU - IN YOUR BUSY
LIFESTYLE SOME TIME FOR RELAXATION
& REFLECTION
[] 
[]  
  
 
GOOD SLEEP
[] 
 
[] 
 
GOOD HEALTH WITH EXERCISE
[] 
 
[] 
 
SOMEONE TO DANCE WITH
[] 
 
[] 
 
A BIT OF ADVENTURE
[] 
 
[] 
 
GOOD LOOKS
[] 
 
[] 
 
BUT MOST OF ALL
I WISH YOU
LOTS OF BEAR HUGS
[] 
 
[] 
 
AND THE BLISS OF REAL LOVE
[] 
 
[] 
 
MANY BLESSINGS COME YOUR WAY TODAY:
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE LOVE TO SHARE
HEALTH TO SPARE
AND FRIENDS THAT CARE
BUT WATCH OUT FOR THOSE BLOODY PENGUINS
[] 
 
[] 
 
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE DOING THIS TO SOMEONE?
[] 
 
[] 
 


 
http://www,wackywits.com/
 
 
MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD SON, Austin, and I spend a lot of time playing school. One of our favorite activities is working on a puzzle map of the United States. As we complete the map, I often quiz Austin on the names of the different states. On one particular day, I asked him what country he lived in. Proudly he declared, "The United States of America Online."

--Contributed to "Virtual Hilarity"


 
AS MY BROTHER-IN-LAW  prepared to board his plane, he noticed a little girl clutching a large bouquet of balloons. The flight attendant reluctantly told her that only one balloon per person could be taken on board. Crying, the child selected her two favorites one for her father and one for herself and left the remaining ones behind. Another passenger had witnessed the incident. Gathering up the balloons, he distributed them to others who were boarding. Destination reached, the happy youngster left the airport, once again clutching her colorful bouquet.

--Contributed to "Life In These United States" by Karen K Baker
 
 
The Year in Review
 
Check out this JibJab offering!
 
http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/view/R7h9unSmsfoQonCDPSNjmvBx
 
 
 
Dave Barry's year in review - 12/28/2007 - MiamiHerald.com
 
 

New Years Resolutions
Resolutions for a Happy 2008
for 2008

This year, I resolve to:

Put the gas hose back
Always replace the gas nozzle
before driving away from the pump.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Double-check before leaving the toilet.
I will always "check for paper"
when leaving the restroom.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Slowing down saves lives
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 

Put a lot of space between you and them.
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Another reason not to park there
I will no longer park the BMW
 next to fire hydrants.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
and never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.
Not very funny!
 
 
New Years Resolutions for a Happy 2004
Have a Safe and Happy New Year!
 
 
 

Alternative Affirmations for the New Year...

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?

16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

 

New Year Resolutions For Pets...

15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND

 

Don't taste snow until all of the birds have gone south for the winter...

                     

Do NOT miss the Squirrel ad!

Very Funny Ads

 
 
 

 

winter snow snowing cold season snowy snowfall precipitation eskimo blower snowblower path humor

 

Signs You're At A Bad New Year's Eve Party...

1. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed

2. The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones

3. There's a "Happy 2007" sticker on the packet of shrimp you've been eating all night

4. It's January 6th

5. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm

6. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000

7. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants drop

8. You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom

9. The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer


The Train of Life  
 
 
The World's Biggest, Tallest, Largest, Busiest, Widest, Longest, Costliest,
 
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST
 INDOOR
 SWIMMING-POOL


World
Water Park…..Edmonton,
Albert, Canada…………..SIZE….5 Acres 
 
 

 
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
OFFICE  
COMPLEX ………… CHIC
AGO


Chicago
Merchandise Mart…..Illinois, USA  
 
 


WORLD'S 
 BIGGEST  
SHOPPING  
MALL 


South
China Mall, Dongguan, China………892,000 meter-square
Shops on
6 floors  
 
 

WORLD'S  
BUSIEST
 AIRPORT……………NEW YORK


J.F.K
International Airport , New York………………..USA
 
 

WORLD'S  
WIDEST  
BRIDGE………AUSTRALIA


Sydney
harbor bridge, Australia……..16 lanes of car traffic…..8
lanes in the upper
floor, 8 in the lower floor
 
 

WORLD'S  
LONGEST  
BRIDGE……………CHINA


Donghai
Bridge , China ……………………32.5 kilo  meters
 
 

WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
PASSENGER-SHIP


MS
Freedom of the Seas……4300 passenger Capacity Inside 
 
 

 
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
PLANE……………AIRBUS

Airbus A380………..555
Passengers
 
 

WORLD'S BIGGEST
BUS


Neoplan
Jumbo -cruiser……..2 in 1 bus….double
deck bus……170 passenger capacity 
 

WORLD'S
 HIGHEST STATUE…………….BRAZIL


CHRIST THE
REDEEMER STATUE…..RIO.D.J………BRAZIL  
 
 

WORLD'S  
TALLEST BUILDING………DUBAI


Burj
Dubai……….900 meters high. To be finally completed
2008 

 
WORLD'S  
LARGEST
 PALACE………………….ROMANIA


Palace
of the Parliament…..Bucharest, Romania ……….
more than 500 bedrooms,
55 kitchens,120 sitting rooms 

 
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
STADIUM……….BRAZIL


MARACANA
STADIUM………… RIO D.J…………BRAZIL……………CAPACITY…199,000
 
WORLD'S  
COSTLIEST  
STADIUM………ENGLAND


New
WEMBLEY STADIUM, London….90, 000 capacities…………….cost…..$1.6 billion 

 
MOST  
COMPLEX  
INTER-CHANGE………TEXAS


Interstate
10 Highways Interchange……Houston, Texas.  
 
 
WORLD'S LARGEST EXCAVATOR
Giant digging machine
Built
by KRUPP of Germany………….45,500 tons……95 meters high……215 meters long 

 
WORLD'S  
LARGEST  
MOSQUE………………PAKISTAN


Shah
Feisal mosque…..Islamabad……Pakistan
Inside
hall capacity ….35,
000  
    outside overflow capacity……
150,000 
 
 

 
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
HOTEL………LAS VEGAS


MGM
Grand Hotel….Las Vegas….6, 276 rooms 
 

WORLD'S
  MOST 
  EXPENSIVE HOTEL
…DUBAI…U.A.E


Burj
Al Arab Hotel, Dubai….
Cheapest room…$1000 per
night.…..Royal suit…$28,000 per
night
 
  
WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
CHURCH  
BUILDING………NIGERIA


Winners`
C hapel…….Canaanland ……….
 Otta…..…Nigeria
Inside
Sitting Capacity……50,000       Outside Overflow
Capacity……250,000 
 

WORLD'S  
BIGGEST  
ROMAN-CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL…………IVORY-COAST
 
How observant are you?

cid:000701c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

11 SHIPS OR 3 SHIPS & 8 ARCHES ?

cid:000801c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

DO YOU SEE FACES OR ALL HOUSES ?  



cid:000901c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de
How many horses in this picture? Should find 7

cid:000a01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

PEOPLE OR FACES?

cid:000b01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

cid:000c01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

A PICTURE PUZZLE!



cid:000d01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de
HOW MANY PEOPLE?



cid:000e01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de
SEE MORE THEN ONE DEER?

cid:000f01c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

Look at the middle column.
Where does it end?

cid:001001c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de
DO YOU SEE FOUR PEOPLE?


Who is the tallest?
cid:001101c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de



cid:001201c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de
A face? Or, the word 'liar' ?  


NEXT: What do you see here?
Do you see the word 'LIFT'?
Or, a bunch of black splotches?  

cid:00
Women are able to spot the work ?LIFT? easily.

Men find it difficult to spot the word ?LIFT?!!!


NEXT? FIND THE FACES:
cid:001401c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de


THE LAST ONE:  
cid:001501c7fcb0$e8ab69e0$01fea8c0@tom1b0756ea9de

 

  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from

His collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept
For an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog
Comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:

"He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
 
 

http://www.bigstockphoto.com/photo/view/19950

CLASSIC DAVE BARRY

A gross national columnist

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published October 3, 1999)
As a professional newspaper columnist with both medical AND dental benefits, I receive many letters from people who'd like to get into my line of work.

''Dear Dave,'' they write. ''I'm sick of my boring, dead-end job as a (lawyer, teacher, office worker, politician). How do I develop the skills I need to obtain a job like yours, where you have an opportunity to make a difference, even though you never actually do?''

    Now that you have time to think about it.........this may answer all your questions!
How Christmas Works

If you've ever wondered 'How Christmas Works,' here are the answers to all your questions.  The sections, 'Introduction to How Christmas Works,' 'History of Christmas,' 'Christmas Gifts,' 'Christmas Traditions,' and 'Was Jesus really born on December 25th?' explain everything about this Christian celebration.  Check out 'The Library' for more information.  BTW, the 'X' in Xmas does have its roots in Christianity; it is not merely an abbreviation for advertising.  Be sure to get the facts on this word!
 
Halfbakery, Inexact Change
 
What better bakery than one for ideas!  Halfbakery is a rather unique website, one where the public can post half-baked ideas; since these ideas are only half-baked, inexact change is certainly given here.  If you've ever had that overwhelming desire to build that perfect mousetrap but can't get off dead center, try posting your idea on Halfbakery and see what happens.  The ideas are added regularly and registered users can cast their vote for the best of the lot.  Many of the features have links to related websites proving that some of these low-calorie bakings may actually be on the drawing board, or rather in the oven!
 
The A-List – Best of the Web Directory

With all the celebrations taking place on this particular day, we at DailyInbox.com and BeliefNet want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!  Today's feature is a 'hotlist' of sites on the Web.  With Daily, News, Sports, Entertain, Reference and Computer sections, even a government 'blue pages,' you're sure to a link for whatever it is you're seeking.  Enjoy your surfing using this valuable resource! 

Most important, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night” from your friends at DailyInbox.com and BeliefNet!
 
 
And Moscow isn't even Number One!
 
 
 
 

How much energy are you wasting?

These days, we have more and more electrical gadgets. You probably don’t think too much about them.

After all, if a television or appliance is turned off, it isn’t drawing any power, right? Think again!

Many gadgets go into standby mode when they’re not in use. That means they’re drawing power. The reason? Well, some have clocks that constantly tell the time. Other items go into standby mode so they power up faster.

This may seem innocuous enough. Actually, it is wasteful. Your machines are quietly increasing your electricity bill. Nationwide, millions of machines are sipping voltage.

So visit today’s Cool Site. You can see how much power gadgets use in standby mode. Perhaps you'll want to unplug them when they’re not in use. After all, isn’t one of your New Year’s resolutions to save money?

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITE, GO HERE:
standby.lbl.gov

 

Plan your new year

The new year is just days away! And that means there is much to be done.

No, I’m not talking about planning holiday celebrations! I’m talking about doing things that will make the whole year easier.

For instance, you'll need a calendar for 2008. It will be essential in your planning.

You can start at Hewlett Packard’s site. It will help you create a year-at-a-glance photo calendar. These are cool. You might want to make several to share with family and friends!

But maybe you need something more serious. You know what I mean—weekly or monthly calendars to track appointments.

If that’s more your style, then visit Microsoft’s template site. You’re sure to find a calendar that suits your needs. And you’ll have no excuse for missed appointments in 2008!

TO VISIT TODAY'S COOL SITES, GO TO:
HP - h10025.www1.hp.com
Microsoft - office.microsoft.com

Dont drink and drive.....be smart and safe!!!
 
 
                     
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
From here on down, begins Below the Line......
The rest of the material will be a littttle edgier....
Proceed at your own discretion : )
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 







 
 


Attorney, Murry Krismus arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight.

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed; he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?   Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.  The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.  Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

To which he whirled around and screamed,

'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,  DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'

http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZRxdm479MPUS

Judging Others

An elephant asked a camel,
"Why are your breasts on your back?"


"Well," says the camel,
"I think that's a strange question
from somebody whose wiener is on his face.

 
 
Julie luv's parties!
      For the New Year Party Julie rented the neighborhood pub
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
and invited family and friends from near and far.
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
A few minutes before midnight
Julie announced that,
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
 at the stroke of twelve,
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
 she wanted every man
to rush to and toast the person that has stood with them thru thick and thin,
the one that has always listened to their problems,
rejoiced with them in their happy times,
got them thru the bad times,
and always listened to them and was there for them no matter what.
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
As the bells rang out at midnight
all the men
rushed
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
to
*
*
*
the
*
*
*
BARTENDER!
 
http://www.wackywits.com/ 
(Follow-up info:  The men were treated and released at the hospital!
Their wives can sure pack a punch!)
 
http://www.wackywits.com/
 
 

Funny New Year Resolutions (In Pictures)

It has been said that pictures speak a thousand words; So for all of you looking to make out your new years resolutions this may be the place to start.

 

Lose Weight:

Be More Active:

Stop Smoking:

Stop Drinking:

Drive Safer:

Make New Friends:

Take More Risk:

Stop Procrastinating:

Work Less:

Save More Money:


After going through a virus attack, losing a hard drive, fighting off hackers, upgrading all my software, installing fire-walls,  and being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider, and a host of other problems...

I have fixed my computer... and NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!